Identity Crisis
I am having a small identity crisis at the moment, its nothing too
serious, but I have recently had something happen in my life that has
shocked me and caused me to loose confidence in myself. I am not going
to go into details but I was worrying about the outcome of an event, all
the while telling myself that everything would probably be fine, only
to find out that things were far from fine and actually far worse than I
could have ever imagined.
I thought I had got over
it but this evening, when faced with a new life challenge, I have found
myself sitting here, worrying and, having been so recently stunned about
how events can unfold, creating new scenarios of horror! I know deep down its all rubbish but it is hard to silence the worry.
I am blogging about this not to ask for sympathy, or advice, I know what I need to do; I am blogging about this to raise the point of how easy it is to let other people or situations destroy our belief in ourselves, and in addition how much time we waste in doing this.
I am generally in a fantastic period of my life. Me and mine are fit, well, and on the whole very happy. I am also aware that thanks to life's curve balls you cannot predict how long these blissful periods will last and therefore to let it be robbed from me by something that is out of my control it rediculous.
I am a capable person and I am proud of my achievements and abilities. The rest can go to hell!
I hope if you are reading this it may be of use to you at some point. I know writing about it and living it are two totally different things but by voicing my feelings on this I already feel stronger. And to make myself feel much better, here's a bit of Pink Floyd!
I thought I had got over
it but this evening, when faced with a new life challenge, I have found
myself sitting here, worrying and, having been so recently stunned about
how events can unfold, creating new scenarios of horror! I know deep down its all rubbish but it is hard to silence the worry.I am blogging about this not to ask for sympathy, or advice, I know what I need to do; I am blogging about this to raise the point of how easy it is to let other people or situations destroy our belief in ourselves, and in addition how much time we waste in doing this.
I am generally in a fantastic period of my life. Me and mine are fit, well, and on the whole very happy. I am also aware that thanks to life's curve balls you cannot predict how long these blissful periods will last and therefore to let it be robbed from me by something that is out of my control it rediculous.
I am a capable person and I am proud of my achievements and abilities. The rest can go to hell!
I hope if you are reading this it may be of use to you at some point. I know writing about it and living it are two totally different things but by voicing my feelings on this I already feel stronger. And to make myself feel much better, here's a bit of Pink Floyd!
The only thing I have to say to that is do you remember that fabulous roberta flack song......the first time ever I21 saw your johnny.......what a great track. Chin up girly we all loves ya
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TBone
:0) How have we missed that one!!!! Love you too Bud! xxx
ReplyDeleteWithout knowing what your situation is/was about, I can so I have gone through similar soul-shattering ones this year, stuff I never had an inkling would happen. And it did't take much to have folks I really cared about shun me. SHUN ME!!! ME! (smile) but it has been very difficult to always maintain positivity and not compare myself to others or wonder what it was I do or did ... and how miscontrued my words and meanings can become! I'll blame it all on the frickin' Yr of the Dragon ... all those dragons are illusionary, you know ... I know, I love MERLIN and all that, and I love fairies and magical moments and all, but hey! Did you ever SEE a Real Dragon??? So, let us trudge through the sludge and sling it off our wellies and skip and hop through the greener pastures of who we know we truly are! You are a wonderful and caring person and may the rest of your year be all you could hope for and more ... and be proud of who you are and your life as being healthy and good ... I know I am very proud of you and have missed you. It's not 'til I get my buns off facebook and come back to where it all started (will be 5 yrs in Jan 2013) and carry on entertaining ourselves and each other ... with some resonations from kindreds here and there. IMU ... <3 U!
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